Navigating love, life, and alarms:a journey of grace
Navigating three kids with two full-time jobs is not for the faint of heart. It requires constant communication, trust, responsibility, and an endless supply of love—especially in those early years. My husband and I worked hard to create a plan that allowed us to share both the burdens and the blessings of raising our kids while managing our demanding schedules. He took a later shift at work to handle mornings, and I worked early and after-hours to be there for school pickups. It was tough, but it worked—until it didn’t.
There are two types of people in the world (and I’m making up my own stats here): those who manage their time down to the second and those who think they have all the time in the world—snoozing until they lose. As fate would have it, these two opposites usually marry each other.
One particular morning, my loving, hardworking husband did not get up when his alarm went off. I, being the time manager in our relationship, had extra time after getting ready to help our oldest daughter, Syrena, get dressed and pack her lunch. Expecting to be met with a kiss and a thank-you from my husband, I peeked into our room—only to find him still sound asleep.
I was frustrated, but I decided to just take Syrena to school myself. On the way back, I swung by the house to check in, and there he was—still blissfully unaware of the chaos brewing. My frustration boiled over. I stormed into the kids’ rooms, got them dressed and fed, and stomped out the door, yelling, “The kids are up, dressed, fed, and I took Syrena to school. I’m leaving, and YOU’RE WELCOME!”
Not my finest hour.
On the drive to work—which was usually my time to pray and worship—I fumed. But the Holy Spirit had other plans.
“Should you talk to your husband like that?”
“No…” I admitted.
“You need to apologize.”
“Fine,” I thought, already composing my apology. I’m sorry I yelled, BUT if you would just get up on time, then neither of us would have to go through this. The world doesn’t revolve around your time zone.
“No buts. Just apologize.”
I wrestled with the Spirit’s prompting. “What? Did you just see what happened back there?”
His answer hit me hard: “Get over yourself. If you didn’t want to do all those things, why didn’t you just wake him up?”
I sighed. I’m sorry.
This moment reminded me that God considers our thoughts a part of us. That morning, my words revealed an ugly shade of pride brewing on the inside. I had helped with the kids—but only to use it as leverage in my frustration.
Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter.” It’s often read at weddings, including mine, but do we really consider its substance?
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”
That day, I was a clanging cymbal—a loud, off-rhythm, self-centered wannabe.
The chapter goes on to say that love isn’t boastful or self-seeking. It keeps no record of wrongs. Recently, I asked my husband if he remembered this incident. He had zero recollection of it. His heart, full of love, had forgotten what wasn’t profitable to our relationship. Honestly, he always sees the best in me, yet sometimes I fail to see the depth of affection he has for me. Why?
Often, we let pride, frustration, familiarity, and even overextension rob us of the opportunity to love well—to see the gift of what’s right before us. But God, who is love, extends grace to us every time.
I don’t know what you’re navigating, but maybe you’re like me—starting with good intentions, only to find yourself overwhelmed and self-focused, feeding all the wrong thoughts. If so, it’s time for a reset.
Let’s take a figurative car ride together and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us back to love. Here’s the truth: Something has to change, and it’s not everyone else. It’s YOU. It’s ME. We can be the answer God created us to be by doing everything in love—in Christ.
We can teach in love.
Speak in love.
Delegate in love.
Discipline in love.
Communicate hard truths in love.
What we can’t do is give what we don’t have. Love can’t be earned—it’s too costly. It can only be received through grace by the One who is love. If you’re feeling unloved, unwanted, or like you’ve come unglued, invite Love back onto the throne of your life.
