When the Wilderness Isn’t the Problem—People Are

What do you do when your friends talk about you instead of talking to you?

I’ve had this happen more times than I care to admit, and honestly, it’s deeply devastating. Instead of seeking to know your heart, they judge it. Instead of having a conversation and clearing the air, they bury you alive in the wilderness. “They”… the very people you thought you’d walk into the Promise Land with.

The stories of Joshua and Caleb have often been a place of comfort for me when I’m wrestling with these hard questions. When the people I’ve loved and gone to battle for are the very ones who let me down the most, I plant myself right in Numbers 14.

“Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us.  Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” But the whole assembly talked about stoning them.” (NIV)

Israel had fought battles together. They had witnessed miracles together. They were standing on the edge of doing something great. But one thing stopped them: fear.

Fear turned people who once loved each other into people who wanted to stone each other.

Israel wanted control.
Joshua and Caleb offered faith.

Israel wanted something tangible.
Joshua and Caleb gave them a word from God.

Israel chose their feelings.

Joshua and Caleb chose their calling.

When friends who once held you close begin picking up stones to throw at you, remember this: God fights for you! It is He who sustains you. He upholds you. And the very word others despise may be the word that ultimately produces the promise.

Joshua and Caleb tore their clothes, not because they were trying to prove their masculinity, but because they were mourning. When you can see something others can’t, or simply won’t, it grieves you. It brings you to your knees.

Moments like that force a decision.
They can make you doubt, or they can sharpen your clarity.
They can shake your identity, or they can secure it.
They can make you run, or they can make you brave.

Joshua and Caleb did not run.
They did not doubt.
And they did not retaliate.

They saw fear for the liar that it was and refused to let it corrupt their faith. They stayed anchored to the vision. They kept showing up. They kept loving, not because of what had been done to them, but because of who they were.

They chose grace- undeserved and unmerited favor.

They chose to see the best in people even when they had been treated the worst. They set boundaries that guarded their hearts without walling them off. They held tightly to their identity in Christ, knowing who they were no matter what was said about them. And they chose character that did not retaliate against the people holding unwarranted stones, instead led with love.

If you’ve been hurt by people who you thought were safe, I want to encourage you with the story of Joshua and Caleb. The Lord is your refuge. He is your safe place. Don’t run from community, allow the Lord to heal you in it.

What God said Israel could do, they eventually did.

And they were able to do it because Joshua and Caleb refused to let outside voices corrupt their upward call. They didn’t walk away offended or bitter. They didn’t meet bad behavior with bad character; they met it with limitless love.

And isn’t that exactly what God has already done for you and me?

So when it hurts, remember this: Jesus hurt first. Not because of His sin, but because of ours. The grace we need, let’s learn to give.