I’m not where i want to be

“This is not where I thought I’d be at this juncture of my life.” Has this thought ever plagued you? Truthfully, there’s a distance between where I am and where I want to be. It’s quite a great distance, if I’m being honest. There have been times when I’ve felt I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I didn’t know how God would work “it” out for my good, not to mention the absence of a pathway or a timeline that would provide comfort in the delay. The distance was great, but even in this chasm, even in the silence, there has never been distance between me and God. God chooses to walk with us every step of the way even when we can’t “feel” him.  Through every trial, disappointment, frustration, delay, hurt, and pain- he was and is with us. 

Jesus knows what it’s like to have greatness on the inside of you yet wake up every day to the mundane. For thirty years Jesus got up, brushed his teeth, went to work, submitted to people he created, and somehow found peace in this obscure place. What is even more astonishing is that upon his baptism, as he gets ready to finally walk into full-time ministry, God the Father publicly professes these words over Jesus: this is my son (affirming his identity), whom I love (securing his value), and in whom I am well pleased (showing approval of Jesus’ quiet, seemingly ordinary, life). (Matt. 3:17)

At this juncture, Jesus hadn’t done one miracle, but he was a miracle. Although we may see miracles take place through the power of Christ Jesus in us, God’s greater pleasure is watching the miracle in the making. God already knows what he can and will do, but watching us grow in trust, character, and faith brings joy to our heavenly Father. Jesus submitted to the Father’s will, which included God’s timeline because Jesus knew he could trust God’s plan to accomplish his will, even if Jesus wished it could be different. 

Jesus knew that his stewardship of the unseen spaces was key to his present success and future endeavors. Romans 13:11 implores us to understand the present time by awakening from our slumber. I’m wondering how many of us are asleep because we think this time of obscurity is not valuable to God? Yet, in his foreknowledge, God wrote us this letter saying “Wake up!” The mundane is not for us to sleep, get bored, depressed, or distracted. Today is actually the only day that matters. Today we are one day closer to Jesus. Today holds beauty. Today has an opportunity for growth. Today can begin consistency that will sustain our tomorrow. 

Today matters to God! Jesus taught us that our present is important to our future successes. What did Jesus have in his first thirty years that produced three years of miracles that changed our world forever? Good conduct. In fact, that’s pretty much all we know about those first thirty years, he grew in favor with God and men. (Luke 2:52)

So, let me ask you this qualifying question about your present time: what is your conduct?  

Are you frustrated, irritated, quick to anger, or lazy? Do you take shortcuts, dishonor authority, or defer your responsibilities? 

If you don’t have good habits when you are only leading yourself, you won’t lead others well. 

If you don’t love well, tip well, honor well when no one knows who you are, what makes you think that the pressures from the spotlight will pull something better out of you? 

If you won’t submit to your boss who pays your bills, what makes you think you'll listen to God who gave you your will?

What you feel is unseen and unimportant, God sees as a safe place to build consistency in your character. What you see as empty and pointless, God sees as specific and appointed. What you devalue and treat as casual, God wants to open your eyes to see the present power. 

I get it. I’d choose something different too, but like Jesus, I ultimately choose to submit and surrender my will for the Lord’s.  In that submission, God has brought me healing that I didn’t know I’d need. He’s opened my eyes to see wonderful people that I might not have had time for. He’s slowed me down to show me what really matters. He’s fully proven that I am secure in trusting him. 

I don’t know what the future holds, but what I do know is that he has good plans for us. Maybe this delay that has been so painful to you is actually a divine detour to green pastures and living waters. Embrace the space, my friend! You might not be where you want to be, but you’re also not where you were. You are a miracle in the making!