Imposter Syndrome
Have you ever heard someone say, "Fake it until you make it!" or if they are really holy, they will say, "Faith it until you make it!"? No condemnation, but I wonder if we aren't sending the wrong message. Faith isn't something you exhaust until you arrive where you want to be and then part ways with it; it is a muscle that needs to be stretched and strengthened, forever growing and enlarging its capacity for more.
This unintentional mindset can have us trying to cover up to measure up to people's expectations of us instead of living honest lives that empower us to be used by God for great things. It doesn't matter how much you want others to perceive you as perfect, you're not, and neither am I! However, I have found peace in the imperfections of my life, enabling me to operate in faith in God rather than in fear of my own deficiencies.
One year, I was speaking at a conference, and if you know my story, that was a leap of faith in and of itself. Earlier in my life, I would have said no to any opportunity that came my way because I didn't want people to see how insufficient I was; I didn't want them to see my neck turn red, my hands shake, my knees knock or my voice stutter, but now I operated in obedience no matter what my body might do in response.
I stood there at the event and gave a brief message. I didn't give it much thought until my sister called me a few weeks later. She had brought a friend with her to the conference and, of all the messages given by the many brilliant leaders and world-renowned communicators, the one thing that changed everything for her friend was seeing my hands shake as I shared what God had laid on my heart.
I wondered why this flaw, this embarrassing proof that I'm not qualified, eloquent, or a masterful communicator, deeply touched her. She went on to explain that God had been asking her friend to get more involved in her church's women's ministry, but due to her fear of public speaking, she had delayed her involvement; she had tried to protect her insecurity from being exposed by staying uninvolved.
At the conference, she saw me speak, and the words I shared went straight to her heart; then her eyes unintentionally caught my hands shaking, and she realized, at that moment, that we don't need to pretend our way to our destinies or hide hoping our fears will go away.
This beautiful woman saw that my willingness to be vulnerable, coupled with God's strength, resulted in true anointing. Performing doesn’t accomplish that. She left the conference feeling free, and as a result, she later went on to minister at her church, travel, and speak across the states! She realized she didn't need to conquer the shakes; she just needed to not let them stop her from doing what God had called her to do!
We don't need people to think we are brilliant, qualified, the best, the brightest, or even the most beautiful….we simply need to be authentic - even with our shortcomings. We need to grow our faith by being willing to look like a fool for Christ, we need to do things scared!
How about you and I make a pact? Let's not try so hard to live up to people's expectations of us and instead expect God to show up! Let's not care about what people are saying, and instead care about who we are becoming! Let's make it to the promised land, not as imposters, but as faithful people who put one foot in front of the other day after day.
I, like you, put my pants on one leg at a time. There isn't anything special about my abilities; in fact, if we were to compare abilities, I'm sure mine would seem pretty subpar, but God has never asked me to be someone I'm not. God hasn't asked me to mask my insecurities or pain, He's just asked me to trust Him with them. Friend, have faith in Christ, and you will see mountains moved. He will put His super on your natural. God is enough for you!
